If Women Were In Charge

recentcomments a{display:inline !important;padding:0 !important;margin:0 !important;}HomeVideosAudioArticlesPicsAbout UsPress Recent Posts Failed Cop Shows (Video)February 11, 2011 10:28 am | No CommentHere is a video of some cop shows that never made it to TV.? Its a shame. Failed Cop Shows from ChocolateCakeCityNY on Vimeo.Read the full story Chocolate Cake CityChocolate Cake City is a sketch, video and audio comedy group that was created by Rob Asaro in 2002 . Today C.C.C. performs comedy all around the country, primarily in NYC!Rob AdamRob Adam is a comedy duo show within Chocolate Cake City. They do not like each other. Their success is what motivates them to continue to work together on stage and in videos.SIRIUS XM SoundzAdam Hamway and Zach Dresler put comedy bits/features together individually and collectively for SIRIUS XM Radio. Check out some of the funniest radio bits out thereright here ! Home Articles, Recent PostsIf Women Were In Charge (Article)Submitted by admin on August 4, 2010 12:00 amNo Comment Hockey Jersey by Jennifer PalumboWhen considering what life would be like if women were in charge, there are immediately the cliché comments like leaving the toilet seats down permanently or eliminating sports, or making shopping count as cardio or that the White House would be pink. This… quite frankly… is colossally stupid. If women ruled the world, yes, there would be things you would expect, but there would also be very intelligent tweaks to the way things already are. Here are just a few examples as I see it:POLITICSThe stereotype is women who are in charge wouldn’t be good at war but women, in case you didn’t know, can be total bitches. We’d not only declare war but we’d even give that country the silent treatment. “Oh, you KNOW what you did. If I have to tell you what treaty you broke, then you obviously didn’t care about it to begin with.” I’m telling you – the Cold War would have been years upon years of us going, “Fine! Whatever!”Women are natural multi-taskers. If we ruled the world, we could have cleaned up the oil spill with a Shout Wipe from our purse, a child under each arm, and still have enough sense to tell BP to use a sippy cup next time.And yes, we would treat Israel and Palestine like a mom whose two sons are fighting over a toy. “Look, if you cant share the West Bank then nobody gets it.? No, thats it, Im taking it away!”Just because she’s an intelligent, powerful woman, Hillary Clinton is called a bitch. So what about Mother Teresa? She had brains; she changed a nation, and was devoted to the sick and poor. What does that make her? A “See You Next Tuesday”?FEMINISMWe’ve gotten off track when it comes to Pittsburgh Penguins jerseywhat feminism means. Up until the end of the 1960s, women stayed home. In the 1970s, they abandoned staying home and pursued a career full time. In the 1980s and 1990s, women wanted to do both; have the career AND the family. Nowadays, they don’t want to do either. They want to have kids, pay a nanny to watch them, have their husband pay the bills so they can do whatever they want. Feminism used to be about getting equal rights. Now it’s about getting equal air time on your own reality show. Real women would change that.Yes, I am a feminist. I believe in equal rights and equal pay for women. I don’t however believe in burning my bra especially not while I’m still wearing it.Being a feminist also doesn’t automatically mean I’d want a woman in the White House. For example, I wouldn’t want to see Oprah as president. Why would I ask her to take a pay cut?SPORTSAll sports would not only include plot lines but the player’s statistics would list whether or not they are single. “Divorced. No children. Prefers redheads. In the off season he worked on his intimacy issues and added a knuckleball to his foreplay rotation.”POP CULTUREPeople would actually have to be talented be on television (Kardashians – I’m looking in your direction), Hugh Hefner would have to date someone his own age and cellulite would be considered a sign of sexiness.Actresses over fifty would play roles other than grandmothers and unattractive, overweight male actors would be cast against equally unattractive, overweight female actresses.BEAUTYTweezers, waxing and shaving would all be outlawed. That way, women Penguins jersey could use the exact time it took to become hairless to do something more meaningful… like creating a mirror that shows men what they ACTUALLY look like, and not what they think they look like. I’m just sayin’.Spanx, control top pantyhose and girdles would also be destroyed. That way, we could get the oxygen we need back in to our bloodstreams.Scales would no longer show you a number. They would have an audio response that would say something like, “You’re up a few pounds but who cares? You are a sexy, intelligent woman. You can stand on me anytime!”RELATIONSHIPSI’m not going to say men would have to listen more. Honestly, I’ve heard some of the things we go on about and I don’t think I could listen all day either. I suggest a compromise: They don’t have to listen to us if we don’t have to pretend we need them to open jars for us. Seriously – I can open my own damn jar. I was just being polite.BASICSPMS would be both a legitimate reason for a sick day and a legal defense in court.Vibrators would include cleaning attachments so you could multi-task. Hey – it’s a great idea.Women would design all theatres, public arenas, malls and restaurants so that there would be more bathrooms available… or at the very least, we’d get spa treatments while waiting on line.Maxipads, tampons, bras would all be covered under insurance as they are not, repeat, they are NOT luxury items.